Terms and conditions: In order to receive your rebate, please send a SASE along with a blank check to the address below. Be sure to include your original store receipt along with a copy of your original store receipt and a copy of your original copy of your UPC. Copies printed on recycled paper will not be accepted. Duplicate copies will also not be accepted. Void where prohibited. Not valid with any other offer. Members and visitors of eBlogger.com, their family, friends, neighbors, and acquaintances are ineligible. Offer not good in Hawaii, Alaska, Puerto Rico or any of the 50 contiguous United States. Offer also not good on planet Earth, any planetary neighbor and associated orbiting satellites, comets, asteroids, or the sun. Issuer is not responsible for lost or misdirected mail, intentional or otherwise...
I hate rebates. I hate rebates so much, I can't even figure out where to begin the list. Should it start with the way manufacturers and retailers offer rebates that they don't intend to fulfill on every unit sold? Or should I go with the way rebate clearinghouses always conveniently seem to "lose" or "not receive" your submission form?
But before you think me an embittered consumer, burned by one too many rebate scams, let me reassure you. I was suspicious of rebates from the get go. That's why I have rarely ever sent off for one. Yes, rarely means that I have done it once or twice, but of the few rebate promotions I have ever participated in, I have received my check from every one.
So, if all my rebate experiences have been satisfactory in the end, why complain? It's the very idea, the principle of the whole thing. The fact is, if the rebate issuer expected every consumer, or even the majority, to send off for rebates and do it correctly, they would simply mark down the price of the merchandise at the register. Do you know that the pesky problem of rebate fulfillment is primarily taken care of before it even reaches the clearinghouse? The reason why is that a minority of consumers who buy products on rebate actually send the rebate out. These consumers generally fall into two categories: 1) the consumer who buys the product because it's on rebate and fully intends to fill it out and send it in, but who is either too busy or too much of a procrastinator to get around to it, or 2) the consumer who was going to buy it regardless of the rebate and ignores the rebate because they're wary of them in general.
I am in the second category.
And what about those poor innocent suckers that filled out the rebate form and sent it in? Well, did you remember your original receipt and UPC? Or did the rebate form ask for copies? Or did it ask for one copy and one original? Did you completely and accurately fill out all the requested information by hand, in pen, and in a 9.5pt sans serif font? Did you remember to sign it? Did you remember to date it? Did you remember to check the box by and/or fill in the amount of the rebate, despite the fact that it's printed no less than ten times on the form? Did you remember to make a copy of all materials put into the envelope, take a picture of an X-ray showing all the contents put into the envelope, get a DNA sample and signed affidavit from the mailman who picked it up, and the same from the mailman who delivered it so that you're covered when 6 months later they tell you your rebate request is not on file?
These companies set up an intentionally dizzying sequence of hoops for you to jump through, just in case you decide you have the intestinal fortitude to play their game. And they count on this. If every consumer who bought products on rebate actually sent off for the it correctly, these companies would have to reconsider the whole rebate dynamic, lest they kiss their profits goodbye. Unfortunately, that's not likely to happen. Nor is it likely that consumers will stop playing right into the rebate ploy. The only thing we can really do is stick to our convictions when it comes to rebates. If you were willing to pay full price for it, don't wait for the rebate. Just buy it, or wait for the retailer or distributor to offer "instant savings". If your a rebate person, make sure you have all your ducks in a row, and don't give up on it or forget about it until you have cashed your rebate check.
Now, as if I didn't have enough to hate about rebates. Check this out. I fill out rebates at work from time to time for my boss. I've worked at a major technology retailer in their customer service department previously, so I know very well how rebates work. Well, I recently had the pleasure of coming across this delightful little tidbit from that very same retailer that used to employ me:
Note the requirement in bold at the top of the form, and I quote, "Must of purchased StompSoft...to receive your $30 rebate"
Must of? Must of? They're kidding, right? Those of you who have followed my postings thus far "must of" known I would go crazy over this. I mean, don't you think between the retailer, the rebate clearinghouse, the printer, the software company for whom the rebate was offered somebody would have said, "Must of? Oh, no, no, you mean either must've or must have. Must of is just plain silly!" But no.
And that's not the last of it! Note the area where the customer is supposed to enter their phone number. Yeah, apparently we're starting to use this new eleven digit phone number format. See, it's the same as dialing long distance, "1" plus the area code, plus the number. Oh yeah, and you have to train yourself to get that new phone number rhythm down, "One-three-two, one-five-five, five-one-two-three-four" instead of 1-321-555-1234. It'll screw you up every time you try, but your kids'll be used to it. They'll be rattling of their eleven digit phone numbers in that offbeat rhythm so fast it'll make you sick.
Anyways, that's my rant about rebates. Either don't do them or do them, but just make sure you either don't do them or do them, ok?
1 comment:
LOL.
Of course you know how I feel re: rebates. You 'must of' seen me suffering through the excruciating experience of trying to get an clearinghouse to explain to me why, if they received everything that they required they still 'inadvertantly' sent 'in error' a notice of refusal to the customer and that the present status of the rebate is 'approved'. Then I go through the routine of telling the customer that he or she would be receiving their rebate in another three to five weeks.
In these days of automated everything, how f'ing long does it take to write a check? E
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