The Internet Sucks!

(Note: The links below are clickable...click them; it's part of the joke. JAG 10/21/2005)

Look, I don't want you to think I'm a cynic or anything. I know my last post was about hating rebates, and I hate to follow that up with a post about hating the internet. But seriously...

I don't mean to say that I hate the idea of the internet. It is definitely one of the most significant technological concepts of the century, but somewhere, something went horribly wrong. The internet in its current incarnation is the perfect example of what happens when anarchy is the order of the day.

For the umpteenth time I was asked to look something up at work today. And, of course, I also use the internet at home as a research tool. It seems like every day that passes, it gets harder and harder to find what I'm looking for. No matter what my search terms are, these always seem to be the first few results:


            

Results 1 - 4 of approximately 979,867,613,995,235.2 for "guitar strings"

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Increase Your Size
Add inches and last longer with new Guitar String brand cream treatment. Please her for hours with this all natural...
www.thisallnaturalcreamreallyworksyoushouldtryit.com/ - Sept 15, 2004 - Similar Pages

Refinance Bob's Home of Bank
Listen to refinance Bob pluck his guitar strings of second mortgage refinancing. Bob makes the refinance process easier by singing the paperwork to you over the course of a 3 month...
www.nobodymakesrefinancingyourhomeloaneasierthanbob[phew!].com/ - Apr 10, 2005 - Similar Pages

Make Cash Fast
Become a virtualy guaranteed instantaneous possible millionare selling guitar strings from home! For a minimal signup fee you too can earn infinite cash through the exponential circle of profit...
www.signuptobecomesuccessful.no-thisisnotamway.iswear.really.com/ - Oct 2, 2001 - Similar Pages

Sexy Girls Waiting for You
Free nude pictures, bondage, shelikes to be tied up with a guitar string free free free no credit check come here for all naked barely legal anime hentai...
www.thesegirlsareallrealandwanttogettoknowyouallyouhavetodois
giveusyourcreditcardnumbersocialsecuritynumberbirthdateandmothers
maidenname.com/ - Jan 1, 2028 - Similar Pages
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Then, of course, there is always that one tantalizing link that seems perfect:

Buy Guitar Strings Online
Buy guitar strings and other music supplies from our trusted secure site. High quality music equipment, reasonable prices, and secure credit processing are our business. Jeff, this is the link you've been searching for. Click on it...
www.trustedmusicsupply.com/ - Dec 25, 0000 - Similar Pages


Son of a... Man, I hate that. Apparently all the legitimate sites have been driven offline by all the other junk. Don't get me wrong, if what your looking for is porn, all natural creams and supplements that claim to enhance a man's performance, or a way to supposedly make fast cash, the internet is a place to go. And it is possible to find what your looking for otherwise. You just have to sift through all this...stuff. Something has to be done.

But what?

Let me say outright, I don't believe in censorship. I believe in freedom of speech. That said, I also believe people should be encouraged to take other people's sensitivities and expectations into account before they express themselves. I don't argue the fact that these companies and individuals have the right to put this trash on the internet. What I do argue with is their right to trick me into installing their spyware on my PC or their right to bypass the trickery by simply installing it without my knowledge. They may as well sneak into my house at night and bug my clothing or imprint a brand preference directly onto my DNA.

So what is the solution? Well first, anything that even resembles a disregard for an individual's privacy should be punishable by slow torture. Second, the internet should have multiple portals. Doorways that not only know what the web surfer wants to see, but more importantly, what he doesn't want to see. Last, search engines should be a little smarter about my search terms. When I want to refinance my mortgage, see porn, or increase my penis size, I will explicitly type those search terms into the engine. Don't return such results to me otherwise.

Having a degree in computer science and having a basic knowledge of the legal system, I know these things are easier said than done. Until someone can make some headway, I'll just have to sift through the garbage to find what I'm looking for.

Ah well...